


I Can Be Your Hero

by EverFascinated



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Heroes, Canonical Character Death, Drabble, Gen, Swearing, but you know he's still here, ghost church, slight churboose if you tilt your head and squint, so not adding the archive warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 15:27:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17004255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverFascinated/pseuds/EverFascinated
Summary: Church is a superhero. He's also a ghost. The superhero thing came first, the ghost part came after he was assigned a sidekick.





	I Can Be Your Hero

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Church as a superhero and Caboose as the sidekick.

“You want him to become the ‘hero’ instead of the sidekick? Really?” Church’s tone was somewhere between disbelieving laughter and ‘Are you insane’ incredulity. “You do know he’s the reason why I died, right?”

The counselor’s professionally polite expression and tone never wavered. “We are well aware of that, Leonard. However, the public does not and the government isn’t happy with the way you’ve-“

Rolling his eyes at the continued use of his first name, Church interrupted. “If they want him to fuck things up so badly just let him go by himself. I don’t know why you want me to take a demotion just to babysit him, especially after I literally gave my life for them already.”

He scowled at the reminder and started muttering to himself about terrible benefits and a lack of retirement options for ghosts when the counselor brought him back on topic.

“Their largest priority is not promoting him per se, but less publicity for you." 

A moment passed in silence as Church processed this, more stunned by the man’s blunt answer than what was said until the words sunk in.

"They want me to step down because I’m making them fucking look bad?!” Church’s voice rose to a squeak before he started shouting, “Goddamn it! Do they have any idea how many fucking times Caboose has nearly destroyed entire cities? By ACCIDENT? If I wasn’t there you’d be missing at least three more states, the physical kinds not just your shitty homegrown Justice League! They want that fucking walking disaster to take the reigns just because I don’t give a shit about keeping it ‘PG’?!”

“Leonard, calm down. This-” The counselor cut off when the ghost stopped his pacing to glare at him, eyes glowing a dangerous red as the cool blue of his spirit slowly shifted to match. A clenched jaw was the only sign of the counselor’s fear when the flames started licking at the other’s fingers, but Church wasn’t paying attention to that because the literal bane of his existence just jogged in with that stupid grin on his face.

“Church! You’re back!” Caboose looked like he was going to try and hug the ghost again, but it seemed this morning’s meeting with the floor was enough of a lesson for now. (Tomorrow would be another story, just like every other day he’d tried to hug the disembodied man. Three years of it and he just kept trying.)

Outrage settling to a more normal level of annoyance, Church let his shoulders droop a bit in the face of the super-soldier’s puppy eyes. Being angry at Caboose was a waste of energy and this time it wasn’t even his fault. He barely noticed his body shifting back to it’s usual frosty hue as he gave his tired response.

“Yeah. Can’t exactly move on and inflict the rest of the world with your stupidity.”

The insult just rolled past Caboose as it always did, especially now that Church never put any real feeling behind it unless Caboose had just wrecked something with his super strength. Only once or twice a day really. Much better than right after The Accident. After weeks of nonstop insults and ranting, this was nothing! 

Caboose moved to respond, but was cut off before he could even start by a polite cough from the counselor. The ‘hero’ and his ‘sidekick’ (they still needed quotations because anyone who really believed that they were saving anyone was out of their minds) turned to their handler, Church’s eyes starting to regain their glow as they narrowed into a glare.

“Michael, have you ever wanted to exchange the roles that Leonard and yourself employ while out assisting the public?" 

"Sure!”

Church blinked owlishly at the immediate response and looked back at Caboose vaguely wondering why he felt more betrayed now then when he died.

Caboose barreled on while playing with something unidentifiable he’d kept in his pocket, “I’ve always wanted to be a ghost! Then I would always win hide and seek and I wouldn’t bump into walls any more and I could finally hug Church!”

The ever so slightly smug look the counselor had been wearing slipped off in the face of Caboose-logic. 

Not even taking the time to revel in the loss of composure, no matter how slight, Church interrupted with a clarification to further prove that he was right.

“He wants to know if you want to be the one calling the shots, idiot.”

“Why would I want to do that?” Caboose frowned, looking completely befuddled. “That is what Tuesdays are for!”

Church smacked a hand to his own face as Caboose left as swiftly as he arrived to prepare something or other for the ghost to look at. Dragging his fingers down his face, Church turned back to the counselor.

“There’s your answer." 

The knowing look the other man gave him made Church thankful that he no longer had blood to blush with as he beat a hasty retreat through the roof to his ‘apartment’. There was a reason he never told anyone what he did with his ‘weekends’.


End file.
